Some of us see a “new” year as an opportunity; some of us view it as simply another January-beginning; and many of us see it as one more nail in the coffin of a life “going, going, gone.” Age makes its soft-footed creep into all of our lives, often bringing a sense of quiet dread or of full-blown terror.
What’s the deal with this? Why the power and terror of this age thing? Have we ever really stopped and thought about how much “age” seems to dictate the “who and what,” the “how and where” and the “why and why not” of our days? “I am too young for this . . . I am too old for that.” Why use a man-made and arbitrary marking of “time” as the caveat on which to hang our behaviors, feelings, accomplishments and failures?
For many years, I held myself up against a culturally-dictated “age chart” of what I should have or a where I should be. I would mercilessly judge my accomplishments or lack thereof by these outside-of-me standards. Sometimes I could sit in gleeful delight, mouthing a “Gee, I already did that one!” but more often I would cringe in horror, as I moaned, “That one’s really late in coming!” And then as another year clicked my age ahead a notch, there was an anxiety-filled, “Oh dear!”
In recent years, I have come to truly see and deeply understand that this “living” thing is a self-directed deal. For me, it must be done with a one-hundred-percent “me” on board deciding what is valid and valuable, because life is not a “do over.” This life that I am now living is the real thing; the only one I get to create and participate in. So, if I am doing and working, thinking and striving, shoving and pushing to meet some “outside of me” criteria, then the “I” of me is lost in the shuffle of someone else’s deck.
So when we see life as the opportunity of our lifetimes, this age thing falls completely off the table. “Hey, this is my life and I get to draw up the game plan and call the shots.” With this attitude each new year that rolls around is then really what we choose it to be and what we make of it. It can be a thoughtful time for new ideas, some decision-making and action, or it can be a no-thought continuing to continue.
But the kick in the pants (or in the teeth) here is that we have to become aware and then involved in this doing life stuff. There are now questions that need to be asked and answered of ourselves and for ourselves. “What will we do with this day and hour, this week and month, this new year?” This can be freeing or frightening, for the answers are and always will be our choice.
Tags: Age and honesty, new year, robin korth
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 5th, 2011 at 10:13 am and is filed under IOA Stories, Newsletter, Robin's Insights. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
